Life has been like a soap opera for American Idol winner Fantasia; she has been the headlines accused of being a home-wrecker for having an affair with a married man. And then the stress lead to her trying to commit suicide and being rushed to the hospital. Surprisingly the whole saga has been filmed for her reality show.
Fantasia has finally broken her silence and has opened up to VH1 Behind The Music about the day she tried to end her life. The TV special will air Stateside tomorrow, which is also the same day as the release of her new album Back To Me is released – they timed the airing perfectly.
According to Punch Bowl Blog here’s what Fantasia says:
“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out…At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive].”
“I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”
“I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired…My head was hurting me. I was over it.”
Barrino’s manager, Brian Dickens, recalls finding her lying on the floor in her room. “Her emotions were extremely low,” he says. “She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’
“I wrote, ‘You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.’ And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, ‘Already did.’ I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”